There are days when I think everything is horrible.
I beat myself up because I’m not practicing as an attorney like a lot of my friends from law school are. I don’t have the talents of Kelli, Liz, Allyson, or some of my other amazing friends. I beat myself up because I am honestly too lazy to put on make-up before work (I value sleep more than beauty). I beat myself because I don’t have the husband, the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence, or the 2 car garage. I get convinced that I am a failure.
And then … after all of this self-bashing, there is something out of the blue will make me realize that everything is fine.
I love my job despite the fact that I’m not practicing as an attorney and everyday I learn more about a field that I am interested in. How many people can honestly say that? I’m lucky that I don’t have to be a slave to my job like a lot of attorneys are and that I have a job that pays for health insurance. I may not be super talented in my hobbies, but they aren’t my job; I can’t imagine that they ever would be. However, merely having hobbies that I love and people to admire helps keep me sane and happy.
I’m confident in myself enough to honestly not care that I don’t wear make-up and heels everyday. I know that Z will still think that I am beautiful even after a bout of food poisoning or surgery (Yes, I partially think he is crazy … but I’m going with it). I don’t need the ring, the kids, or the house to prove to me that I am loved and cherished.